Conversations-2

Me: Zack, where are you?

In the balcony, Boss!

Your food is getting warm…

Okay

Me: What do you mean, okay? Come now.

You’re impatient, Boss.

Me: Tell me, what is so interesting outside that kept you hooked?

Nejad is in town, you know?

Me: Nejad who?

Ohmigod! Mahmould Ahmadi Nejad, the Iranian President.

Me: What is he doing in Bahrain?

Don’t you know, he is on a one day state visit to the Kingdom!

Me: Yeah, now I remember. I was stuck in the traffic this morning as his motorcade was moving around.

I was watching him as he passed our road just now. I like him, Boss!

Me: Why?

Gutsy guy. Speaks his mind. He told the King of Bahrain not to allow the United States to dictate terms in the Gulf region. “We need to cooperate and stand together to face any problem. … Then the Americans will be forced to leave our countries alone,” he told His Majesty.

Me: You’re a free spirited canine!

Boss, don’t use that word.

Me: What word?

Canine… What you mean is that I’m a dog.

Me: Come on. Even I am an underdog… Be proud of your heritage. You are also God’s creation. I too. You’ve a role to play. And I have a role to play. Let’s do justice to our respective roles.

Getting sentimental?

Me: Not at all.

Thanks, Boss.

Me: Okay. Finish the meals.

(Zack completes food and burps)

Me: Ha! Ha!

What’s so funny, Boss?

Me: Your burping reminded me of something.

What?

Me: Nothing.

Come on, Boss. Tell me, na?

Me: Two days ago, I was lunching with Vinod at Curry Country. Got a call from office, asking me to rush for an interview with a senior ministry official.

Okay

Me: I reach office to pick up my tape-recorder, notebook. My Boss gently takes to me to the anteroom…

For what?

Me: Patience, please. … He asks me whether I had taken onion during lunch. I affirm. He tells me that I smell of onion and the bureaucrat whom I am supposed to meet may not like it - the smell or odour of onion.

So what?

Me: Listen, listen…

I am, Boss!

Me: To get rid of the onion smell, I am requested to drink gallons of black coffee… Chew as many scented chewing gums as possible…. Plus sprayed with deodarants.

Okay. How did the meeting go?

Me: It went off well. But since that incident, I developed a phobia towards onion. It makes me run. Never ever chewed so many gums in my lifetime. Even now, my jaws are paining.

The other day, you said that onion acts as a blood purifier and its other medicinal properties.

Me: Of course, I did. Maybe it is a passing phase. Till I leave Bahrain at least. Ha, ha!

I understand.

Me: Don’t you, dogs, laugh at all?

Again, you are using that word. ….

Me: Sorry, mate.

We don’t. Laughing is reserved for you guys, perhaps. No non-human beings can try that.

Me: You mean that animals are not endowed with laughing faculty.

We express our pleasure by wagging our tails.

Me: Yeah. I see your tail is stationary. I presume you don’t enjoy this bit of talk.

Boss, watch out. You are about to fall off the chair…

(I fell off the chair)

I told you…

Me: My butt is hurting, mate!

Be careful with your butt.

Me: Why?

Know Jessica Simpson?

Me: Of course. What has my butt got to do with her?

She says that her definition of a ‘real’ man is one who has a cute butt…. If you hurt your butt, your chances are bleak!

Forgodssake, leave me alone, Zack!

More to come...