Conversations-15

Hey, wassup?

What do you mean, 'wassup'? Am okey, Boss.

No, no. You seem to be in the seventh heaven, Zack.

You mean like you when you pick up your copy of MUSCAT DAILY every morning at some petrol pump or other.

Stop. Don't be sarcy.

Why are you getting irritated, Boss? Am I saying something short on truth?

Ok, ok. Tell me, why are you so happy, Zack?

Come on. What's wrong with you? Why can't I be happy once in a while, for Godssake.

Enough of this non-sense, Zack. Tell me, na...

Okey. Since you're a curious cat ... hope you don't throw a fit for me calling you a cat..

Stop this drama and spill the beans.

Boss, you're a serious nut, with apologies.

Why do you say that Zack?

Enough of this high-strong words: GDP, fiscal deficit, oil dependency, exchange rate fluctations. Cat crap.

Wat's wrong, Zack?

Will you permit me to continue?

Yes. Go ahead.

Why don't you look beyond serious stuff in newspapers? Say like crossword puzzles, cartoon sketches, cookeries, filmi stuff etc.

Come to the point. Why this long sermon? Explain the rationale behind your happiness.

Boss, did you notice that there are three cartoon strips in today's dailies that carries some my fraternity stuff?

You mean cartoons featuring dogs?

Mind your language.... Give respect and take respect, Boss.

What's so great about these doggy ... sorry .... strips?

Boss, did you see?

Nope.

You better.

Some other time.

You better now.

Ok, ok.







Boss, which one you like the most?

Hmm.. this one.

You mean, Boss, the Muscat Daily one?

Yes. You're right.

I know even before you opened your oral trap.

Zack, you're insulting. Acting smart - like that Boss at ... Fuggedit. . He will be insulted if I utter his name.

Come on, come on, Boss.

Stop egging me, Zack. You know me. Why do you say my pick will definitely be Muscat Daily cartoon strip only?

Boss, because for you Muscat Daily is THE best daily in town.

Do you have reservations on that assessment, Zack?

Your friends are laughing at you... Know why?

Why?

Becoz, they say you're angling for a job in Muscat Daily and hence canvassing positively. Ha ha... Sorry, Boss.

Rubbish. I have a reason for picking that cartoon. Forget about others what they say. Is my choice - about the Muscat Daily cartoon strip featuring one of your cousins - acceptable to you or not?

Can I tell you something, Boss?

No preambles, Zack. Go ahead.

For once, we are in sync. We share same ideas. You've matured a lot of late - particularly after getting roadrailed by that gang at ...

Stop, Zack.

Boss, I also like it for the simple reason the Muscat Daily strip shows us - I mean my tribe - as intelligent beings. We can read between the lines like you, homo sapiens.

Good. I felt the same, Zack.

The other two - in Times of Oman and Oman Tribune - make me sympathise with my folk. Shows us in poor light. Boss, understand. We also have - what you call 'ego'.

Understandable, Zack.

Thanks, Boss.

Don't mention.

Good to hear proper English after a long time.

What?

Usually you used to respond with 'No mention'. Now, you said 'Don't mention'. Right usage.

My foot! You teaching me English?

What's wrong? Learn from every quarter. Be open minded.

Ok.

One small request, Boss.

Shoot.

Tomorrow onwards, I will not join your morning walk.

Why? You're hale and hearty.

I simply cannot stand you hopping from petrol pump to petrol pump at 4 in the morning looking for Muscat Daily. As if your survival for that particular day hinges upon you grabbing a copy of that new babe.

Zack, you'll never appreciate good things in life quickly. It takes time for such things to sink in.

You're getting emotional, Boss.

No, no, Zack. It's perfectly fine with me. I have been walking even before you came into my life. I will continue even after you refuse to escort me. ... No big deal.

Excuse me! I don't escort you. We walk together... In fact, I lead you, Boss!Follow me?

Get lost, Zack!

Conversations-14

You seemed to be very happy, Boss. Wassup?
Nothing, Zack.
No, no. I know. You're supremely ... blissfully... glad.
Am I not supposed to be happy and smiling, Zack? What's wrong with you?
Nothing, Boss. But your composed behaviour makes me wonder...
Look, Zack, let me clarify. This has nothing to do with Congress's performance in the elections.
Boss, aren't you jumping up and down on the results day becoz your favourite party was romping home in style and I cannot forget your smugness like your favourite party..
You definitely is anti-Sonia, Zack.
Cool, Boss. You're jumping to conclusions. I am neither anti-Sania...
Not Sania. Sonia, dear.
Sorry, I cannot call her dear Sonia. She's not even Indian...
Stop that nonsense. Even you're not Indian. Tibetan, Lhasa Apso. We respect you. We love you. As much as we respect Sonia and ...
Love her too?
Joking, no, Zack.
Ok, Boss. Tell me wassup? Why you are so happy?
Look, honestly I am happy becoz oil prices started going up.
Ohmigod! You're anti-Indian.
Shutup, Zack! Am not anti-Indian or anything. Remember the boom period we watched as oil shot up to 147 dollars for one barrel? There was all around prosperity. Everybody was dancing. China was chugging along well. India was jumping as you said up and down. Arjun Murthy was predicting 200 dollars.
Who's Arjun Murthy? Infosys Narayana Murthy's son or cousin?
My foot! Arjun is a global investment analyst with Goldman Sachs who had predicted oil price would touch 147 dollars much before it happened. He was a seer. ..
Then, what happened to his 200 dollar forecast? Why did not happen?
Why asking me? Ask him, na?
Boss... Use your common sense...How can I?
Shucks... Zack, I am convinced it may happen.
Boss, you mean oil going back to last July levels?
Yeah... in a way.
What do you mean?
Yes, there is a worldwide recession. Agree?
I do,Sir!
US in deep shit. Europe too. China. India. Gulf...
You mean the Persian Gulf --- Saudi, Qatar, Abu Dhobi...
Not Abu Dhobi... Dhabi... Yes.
Every govt is pumping in shiploads of money to revive their economies. Agree?
Of course, Boss. Though there are thin traffic on roads. More parking space in Nehru Place parking lot...
What's Nehru Place parking lot got to do with you?
You only were telling someone over phone that parking attendants were literally dragging you two days ago to park your car in Nehru Place - even though you were NOT driving anything....
Keen observer, Zack, you're.
Thank you, Boss. All your training. You only taught me to keep my eyes and ears open all time. Ohmigod. Am losing track of my thoughts... What was I saying?
Recession... Govts pumping huge money to revive economy etc etc.
Thanks, Zack. Know why, Zack?
Why what?
Why they are investing so much money?
To save their backs... as you only told me.
Yeah. 100 per cent correct. If US economy does not revive, Obama baba can forget about a possible second term. American voters will send him packing in 2013. Can the 44th US President afford to do that?
No ways, Boss.
Take China. Loss of export market in US and Europe has already led to a large scale retrenchment.
What ... ment?
Retrenchment... meaning throwing people out of job because there is no money to be made and not sure when things will improve.
Like it happened to you...
Think you are smart, Zack, no?
What did I say that hurts you and talk sarc-ky?
You know what I mean. By the way, what is the meaning of sarc-ky?
Sarcastically, Boss.
Ok, ok. We're talking about China. Retrenchment on the one hand and huge purchase of US T Bills.
Tea Bills? Why China should buy American tea?
You dumbo. China has been buying billions of dollars worth of American Treasury Bills. Which are almost worthless today. If China won't buy, who will buy?
Boss, it is getting complicated. Can't follow your T Bill line of thinking. Can you explain?
Americans, you should know, spend more than they earn.
Impossible, Boss.
Americans are good attempting the impossible. You may be a pauper - no job. no income,but you can buy huge mansions in the US.
Why dont you shift US? YOu also don't have a job. no income...
Stupid.
Did you say something nasty, Boss?
.. Nothing... nothing. Greedy bankers lend money eagerly even to those who simply cannot afford to pay even EMIs consistently..
Very interesting, Boss. How do they survive?
You mean the bankers?
Yes, Boss.
They convert the receivables into tradeable instruments and dispose of it to others. Thinking they have covered their backs.
Hmmm.
Interesting, no?
Looks like. What about payback? Who will pay whom on the due date?
Good question. Even a dog knows basics of economics..
Mind your language, Mister... Mind you, I am a co-tenant of my boss - a man who thinks he knows a lot of these economic gibberish.
You mean, me? Thanks. But I don't understand the cotenant part. What's that?
It's very simple, Boss. You and I are co-tenants of this world. This house. How, you want to ask? Hang on. Let me put it this way .... Why do you keep me as your conscience keeper?
Who says you are my conscience keeper? You are my pet. Nothing more, nothing less.
Tell me whom do you share your thoughts - metaphysical or otherwise? Me, na?
Hmmm.
Not even your family. Not even your colleagues? No? .. You use me as your sounding board... No?
Hmmm.
Is it not true that you are gaining some insight through our dialogues? Howevever occasional it may be.
Hmmm.
We more or less occupy the same mindscape, no?
Sort of.
Is it not true, you spend more time with me either in India or outside? Don't we talk daily almost thrice during walks on everything under the sun or moon or sky?
True, but...
During walks, I just listen to your loud thoughts is what you want to say, no?
Yes.
Tell me, is it not true you become silent when you are in the company of even your spouse - she complains no?
You are a master blaster... Fuggedit. I agree that you are a cotenant. Let's return to business.
If China stops buying T Bills of US, Obama will go nuts. So it has to prop up Washington currency as well. Don't know how long.
What about India?
India has a huge domestic economy. China also had, but ignored for a long time. Now woken up to tap this potential. If foreigners have no money to buy, why not try their own kith and kin back home.
Boss, it makes a lot of sense. However, China has to give money to Americans to buy their stuff. Instead, now China is lending its own people to generate demand... right?
Zack, which business school you studied?
Am in the running for Nobel?
Shutup. Idiot. Overambitious.Do you know what Black Swan Nassib tells about economists?
No. What's he saying?
He says economists are bunch of jokers and idiots.
Let him say whatever he wants. It does not bother me. I know my onions, Boss.
So... China is helping its domestic economy to kickstart revival. India also.
What about the Gulf?
They have of late started looking inwards. Investing in infrastructure development withuot losing steam though meltdown has affected them badly.
Haan..Are they not affected due to the huge fall in oil prices - from 147 to 63 dollars a barrel?
Yes, Zack. But they will survive becoz the actual cost of a barrel costs very little. But when loaded with developmental costs, it goes up. Even 40 dollars is more than sufficient to keep them afloat.
Coming back, why you are happy?
Zack, when the engines of Chinese and Indian eocnomy begin to roar, they need energy.Alternate energy sources development will take ages. So oil is the only alternate. So demand for oil is bound to go up. It is good news for gulf.
So what?
A huge chunk of indians work in the Gulf. And they are now back home due to recession in Gulf also. When oil prices go up, projects will resume work and they may return. More forex remittance. Good for them. Good for India.
Good for you also, no? Boss?
Sort of. ... Hey, are you leaving...
Yeah.
Going where? Zack?
For a lecture at FICCI.
Wat?
The business lobbyists have invited Finance Minister Pranabda to talk about new govt, new challenges. Am going.
What about CII? Are they not
.. hosting their meet with FM?
Yeah, Zack.
Yes, they will. But they lost the race to Ficci.
How?
Because FICCI general secretary is a Bong. Pranabda, you know...
What a judgement, Zack. Good luck! Come back soon.
Bye, Boss.

Wat's in your neck-bag?

Rossogulla..... You know why, Boss!

Conversations - 13

Boss, are you there?....

Boss….

Hello, Zack! Is that you?

Yes, Boss. How are you?

Fine. Tell me, how’s you?

Rotting in Delhi with intermittent power supply!

It’s more than two weeks, we parted. Zack, I miss you.

Me too.

Do you know, this morning, I saw a lady walking her dog..

Boss, you saw the lady with the dog or dog with the lady? Be specific!

Naughty boy! An old lady with a Dalmatian.

You mean older than you?

Stop pulling my legs, Zack.

How’s life in Dubai?

Am enjoying to the hilt! Tell me, why did you call?

Is there need to have a reason to touch base with you, Boss?

No, you’re most welcome.

I felt like talking to you. So am talking to you now.

Nobody at home?

Your daughter is sleeping after burning midnight oil! And madam too. Too tired keeping a vigil on your daughter.

Hmmm.

You still not answer my question: how is Dubai?

It’s more cosmopolitan than Muscat which you had the privilege of living with me for five months. And more Filipinos and Pakistanis. Every second guy you bump into is from Philippines. Or every taxi driver is from Pakistan.

What’s Filipinos?

People from the Philippines. It’s a country. Like I am an Indian becoz I am from India, you know?

Oh!

Do you know Emiratis (the natives) are only 20 per cent.

20 per cent? What does it mean?

Dumbo! It means that if you meet five people on road, only one of them will be an Emirati.

Tell me, why you should meet five people to meet one Emi… whatever?

Forget it. You talk like Zoher!

Who… the Zoher in Muscat who used to jump whenever he sees me?

Yes. The same guy!

What happened to him?

Nothing. I just mentioned his name. Well, you did not tell me why u called…

Boss, …. Feeling a bit shy.

Come on. Tell me. Man to man…

Six months ago, in Muscat, you talked about arranging a mating session with a bitch…

Yeah. But we decided to pack up and leave, you know

I know. But you’ve forgotten or ignored my needs…. My physical needs.

Don’t worry. I will get it arranged in Delhi soon. Okay?

You’re great, Boss. You understand my genuine concerns. I miss you a lot.

Enuf buttering.

Boss, when are you coming to Delhi?

Whenever you send me a ticket, Zack!

You don’t need a cage – like me?

My foot! Haha! Bye, Zack!

Bye, Boss!