Conversations-11

You must be the only dog in the world that washes its legs after an outing, Zack!

Tina, you bird-brained! What’s wrong with washing one’s feet after an outing? Boss does it. His family does it. Hygiene, buddy! You shit, sleep and live in the same cage. You’ll never understand the niceties of grooming!

Haha!

May I ask you the raison d’etre for your second round of guffaw?

Your Boss is thinking aloud about Fashion & Lifestyle. Am I right? …. I know you are privy to his thoughts as he blabbers in the morning as he trots along with you during morning walks. Zack, you’ve picked up some nuggets – say, niceties, grooming for example and throwing those catch phrases at me to impress and signal that you are a much more refined product from the Maker’s lab than me! Stop this crap!

Ok. You’re jealous. You’re going to be lonely for a fortnight or so soon….

Why? Are they sending me out!

Tina, fuggedit… I am escorting Boss to Muscat.

What where in your previous birth?...

Why, darling?

Travel is written on your forehead. A few months ago, you were in Bahrain. Now to Muscat.

What to do, Tina? Boss needs my company! Some intellectual counterpart, you know!

It is going to be lonely moreso…

Why?

Your Boss and you are out to Muscat. The Family will be out for Lucknow for a wedding. For a week, I will be alone.

What you plan to do?

Catch up with some reading, of course!

Reading! You’re not even my thumbsize! How will you hold the book?

Dog brains don’t understand ….

Mind your language, Tina. Ok. Which one you plan to read?

Your Boss is reading Desmond Morris on Human Beings and their body language. Let me gain some knowledge.

By the way, I will leave a few sheets of Sneha delicacies to savour. Whether you will get to taste them or not, at least, read her tongue-tickling copy.

Who’s Sneha?

Boss’s new intel-pal.

What’s that?

Intellect friend. She writes on delicacies. Remember a few weeks ago, she wrote about Dog delicacies that made you terribly happy!

Oh, you mean that? What’s she upto these days?

Heard of Shark Soup? Fugu fish? She relishes writing about these delicacies. I wonder whether she has tasted any of these stuff. I won’t be surprised if she is a vegan.

If so, how can she write about something she does not experience?

That’s modern day journalism… Someone experiences and notes down his/her thoughts. You hijack those thoughts from the net and rewrite.

What net?

Internet, dumbo! (laughs)

Why are you laughing, Zack?

Remembered Boss’s favourite story on experience…

What’s that?

Heard of Adi Shankara?

Who’s he or she?

Idiot, it is He.

Ok. What’s the story?

Shankara was engaged in a serious debate with a Buddhist couple. He was on a winning spree, but got stumped on one issue.

What’s that?

Shankara, you must understand, is a celibate.

What’s celibate?

Celibate or celibacy means he has never touched a woman in his life.

So?

The discussion turned towards marriage and family and Shankara was on his bes until thent. But…

What?

The couple retorted saying that how can a Bachelor or celibate can have more knowledge than a married couple on physical intimacy. Pure bookish knowledge is no substitute for experience.

So, what happened?

Shankara was stumped, as I told you a few minutes ago.

Hmm.

Then Shankara got into the body of someone who just died and experienced what marital bliss is all about. Came back and spoke with a lot of personal experience and …

He won the debate, right?

You’re getting smarter, Tina!

Why are we talking about Shankara?

Remember Sneha’s recipe? That’s the context.

Who was your Boss talking to?

Ritwik Sinha, his buddy! Ritwik works for a B-2-B travel magazine. He was narrating to Boss that a tourism board chairman gave him a lot of positive info about his state. When Ritwik landed in the state to be covered, what he experienced was totally different from what he was told! He has to change the entire angle of the story! He was trying to tell Boss that seeing is believing! Don’t write a word unless you have seen it!

Your Boss is stupid!

Why?

Come here. Can you see the blue sky?

Yes.

Can you see the full moon over Qutub Minar?

Yes.

Do you know some men landed on that strip a few years ago?

I don’t know. But Boss knows, I am sure.

Yes, your Boss knows. And believes that to be true.

Ok. What are you driving at?

Has your Boss been to Moon?

No.

If so, Boss has no Moon experience. Right?

Yes.

If yes, how can your Boss say the people have really landed on Moon?

Understandable. I will check out with him in Muscat and post you with progress.

What progress?

Oof! Slip of my tongue. Boss is contemplating the theme for next Progress Oman and asking for ideas from me.

Your ego is much larger than your Boss’s.

Ms Birdbrain, see you. Bye, bye!

More to continue….